The Greatest Pain in Life

  The greatest pain in life
is not to die, but to be ignored.

To lose the person you love so
much to another who doesn't care at all.

To have someone you care so about so much throw a party...
and not tell you about it.

When your favorite person on earth
neglects to invite you to his graduation.

To have people think that you don't care.

The greatest pain in life,
is not to die,
but to be forgotten.

To be left in the dust after another's great achievement.

To never get a call from a friend,
just saying "hi".

When you show someone your innermost thoughts and they laugh in your face.

For friends to always be too busy to console you when you need someone to lift your spirits.

When it seems like the only person who cares about you,
is you.

Life is full of pain,
but does it ever get better?

Will people ever care about each other,
and make time for those who are in need?

Each of us has a part to play
in this great show we call life.

Each of us has a duty to mankind
to tell our friends we love them.

If you do not care about your friends
you will not be punished.

You will simply be ignored...
forgotten...
as you have done to others.

 

Taurus:

Don't give up your power just to be in a romantic relationship.** o.0 ...=(

guess this wk days i shall stay @ home..gotta start studying soon 4 my exams next wk liao.. shall start with my cmaths... better do well man... den after exams get to slack again! go enjoy.. yeah! kbox... sushi.. pool... catch up with ppl... blah...

Tue:

Taurus: Pay attention to your fashion. Note the impression your clothes make.** <-- eh.. i wasnt tt badly dressed ba... so ok la...

was damn shag yesterday. forced my tired eyes to open e whole day.. went sch 4 e CARC lec n tut in e morning.. den met up with ros n her fren.. ling ling? to orchard. went 4 e interview at heerens.. hmm... think i manged to get e job ba...she will call me again c when to start work. e pay is $5/hr, 11.30am-10pm and have to stand e whole day..-.- tiring man.. but nv mine la... juz give it a try lor.. went cineleisure de cartel too, n a shop selling samsung phones... think i almost got e job at e cartel lor...until i told her can transfer me to tamp de outlet not.. (coz also sian ma, travel all e way to town,after sch or wat) den she asked me to go tm 4 e interview..-.- troublesome... but like not bad environment to work at. have mtv 4 u to c.. blah.. den wkends open till 2am.. wa.. more $ to earn.. hai..nvm.. 4 get till. dun really like doing waitress stuffs anyway.. try again after my 2 months hol is over or wat.. or juz concentrate on my studies. arghhh.... e more i think about it... hope i get e samsung 1... den can get my e600c at a cheaper price..hehe...

den later went 4 a movie with les (nope.. not my lesbian.. les = leslie la..keke) @ tm... c e New Police Story! damn nice lor! damn funny ah! e nic tse inside e also v funny n cute... a v different person from wat he is. e Twins girl also.. v funny jiu dui le...E YANG CAI NI DAMN CHIO AH!!!!~ like quite a few of her shows like "liang zu" with Wu qi long.. e best is another show with him de also... lamp de ghost story or wat.. v touching.. been trying to get e vcd...

yup... gonna get e bag at e esprit. at first tot e size was kinda too big, but since other ppl said its alrite so o well.. shall get it then. can get 50% off too all thanks to my classmate Sally. though not so close but she still could help me get it.. so nice of her.. since she not working there anymore le so gotta ask her fren help le... gonna get e black 1. i totally 4got wat colours they have man, din notice them. kept thnking e 1 i wan is white. but actually i wanted e black.. n e other colour is beige. -.- they actually having 30% off for tt (actual price about $59, so after tt is about $41), but since e staff price is 50% off so ask them get it lor.. can save my $. actually din wanna waste my $ on new bags coz next time also 'tin teh'..take up space.. but sui bian lor.. since its cheaper, if not i hack care ah! so ex.

next is e tank tops at giordano. waiting 4 ros to help again coz her bday n her mum's is coming soon. din know u will get 10 or 20% when u purchase anything on ur bday or e day b4 until she told me. ok la.. at least save a bit lor...

Li.di.ya turned back time on 5:00:00 PM.

hmm... not sure wat to blog about but.. juz blog anyway.. bleah

today suppose to get up to go 4 e fndb extra lesson but i went back to slp instead -.- ... tomolo gotta go 4 e carc le.. tut n lab.. which starts @ 8am! hai... i will make sure i do tt.

today went TM with ros b4 my work coz gonna go there pay my bills anyway..long time nv c her le too... went window shopping! saw a few of things tt i wanna buy... a bag from esprit, plain tops from giordano?.. blah... o ya.. saw lots of nice accessories at Isetan... woohoo~ do drop by n take alook if u r free.. hehe... was damn tempted to buy them... but really gotta spend my $ wisely man...

today is my last day of work at e airport... gonna find another 1... tomolo gonna go heerens there 4 an "interview".. well.. juz go let e "aunty" c my face.. c whether i qualify not... e shop sells accessories.. not bad la.. full day though... hai.. better than nuting... all thanks to my fren who recommended me this job.. better b successful.. *fingers crossed*

tomolo is Lantern Festival liao...(or watever e exact name 4 tt festival is..) hmm.. go chinese garden carry lanterns? 'shang yue'? eat mooncakes? nah... dun think so... though i reallly would love to go there n take pics... hmmm

Li.di.ya turned back time on 11:29:00 PM.

Taurus: Bring your artistic skills back to life. Don't let them lie dormant.**


TUE:
Taurus: If you feel as if someone has turned against you, tell him or her.**

MAMMA MIA!
yup.. tt was wat i watched yesterday. nope.. it wasnt e stupid channel U food show... its e musical play which is gonna show at e esplanade. so damn shiok man... v nice!!!! all e ABBA songs they sang.. the dances...e funny/cute parts... ahh~ dunno how long nv go 4 plays liao.. years man! tt time was thinking to get e tix.. but v few will b interested to go.. so well.. 4 get it! so glad tt i got to go.. =D though it was juz a dress rehearsal.. it was almost as gd as the real thing..

actually tt time i was planning to go meet Qian Hui @ orchard de lor... after going lunch with the girls @ suntec. since i wanted to take a bus from the esplanade bus stop.. i remember my sis is working at e California there.. so tot drop by c if she was working. yup.. saw her from afar.. when she walked out to tok to me, she said some 'ang mo' who went there to eat earlier gave them some free dress rehearsal tix. damn lucky lor.. each tix i think.. worth about $100+ lor... din wanna miss it so called QH to come esplanade instead.. so we both could watch e play... victoria+ her bf+her mum came to c it too... was quite a waste tt my sis couldnt join us @2pm coz she was working till 3... e place was short of ppl too, tts y she couldnt leave earlier. she missed those gd parts lor.. poor thing.. =( so after her work she joined us with another fren of hers.. o.O din know she would b going too.. hmm.. anyway.. enjoyed e play ALOT! =D

after tt went bugis walk walk with QH... saw some shops looking 4 pt sales asst so i juz left my contacts with them. there was 1shop tt needs to know whether i m a smoker or a non-smoker.. i was like..o.O.. e girl said e boss juz needs to know.. hmm.. funny... n guess who i saw when i walked pass the food court there. yu yue! haha.. selling drinks there.. i was as suprised as her that i saw her there.. coz usually i kinda 'blind' 1.. i juz heng heng happened to look at her direction...

really had fun yesterday.. e play.. blah.. n had a crazy with QH.. QH thinks tt i more talkative le after going to poly.. hmm..i think so too.. hehe... but have things to tok also ma.. n muz c with who also.. bleah =P


TODAY:
b4 going to sch, heard e 'ying yue ri ji' on 93.3fm. was about a guy's family... his mum being abused by e dad.. kinda poor thing reminded me of last time too.. i kinda agree that when we were young, there was almost nuting we could do, though we dun agree with family violence. i really miss my mum, i kinda blame myself 4 not going to visit her often. it has been a yr le ba since i saw her... my dad still goes to visit her.. think after my exams i will b joining him... no more excuses tt i m bz.. blah.. i actually m juz plain LAZY. some kind of daughter i m.. too 'shi bai' le.. kinda 'pei fu' her that she actually gave birth to me.. i should b thankful n treat her gd.. my dad too.. they all old liao.. dunno if they die le will i cry or anything...mayb reaction slow?( as usual..) bleah.. go treat my dad 4 tim sum after my papers.. i MUZ! really love my sis actually.... though i dun really show it.. n we r not tt close.. but seriously.. of all my family ppl i treat her quite gd le.. my aunt leh? have not been toking to her much after e quarrel tt nite... nowadays we r juz living our own life. she treats e tenants even better than me. really no difference if i stay outside alone... hai... really like "jiu shou xi de mo shen ren".... damn tired ah....

kinda feeling fed up rite now... its WED! hmm...

i m tired of having to repeat myself over n over again(when i m being interupted.. i m not a voice recorder.). i m tired of trying to let ppl feel my presence..(hello.. i m juz beside u). i m tired of having to catch up with ppl(wats e pt when it seems tt they r delibrately trying to get away from u?... at least i have e paitence to wait..). i m tired of not getting reply from some1 when i ask a question(b it face to face or sms).i m tired of being ignored(as if i toking to myself or ppl r juz cant b bothered to listen to wat i m saying). i m tired of ppl not having eye contact with me when toking(i will juz take it tt they r not toking to me... now i understand e importance of eye contact). i m tired of trying to please ppl(which i usually dun). i m tired of trying to b in a crowd(when its as gd as being alone). i m tired of blah blah blah... ALOT OF THINGS!

i m happy to b myself. i m happy tt i show how i feel about some1 when i hate tt person( i m not ashamed to show n proud of it! y b a hypocrite?) i m happy to b a loner(wats there to b ashamed of? some ppl juz despise them.. well i despise those ppl. cant they learn to b independent?) i m happy tt i enjoy window shopping alone(having fun trying on clothes,w/o having to worry wasting ppl's time...) i m happy tt i m sensitive(better than those insensitive ppl..who dun really care bout how others feel) blah blah blah...

have u ever c some1.. who SO 'JIAN', when meeting 'tt person' somewhere with a few others, den happen u to c 'tt person' walking from e opp direction towards u. 'tt person' saw u but quickly turned away.. walking with e head higher up as if walking e cat walk. den later 'tt person' walk pass u liao den when u try to call, 'tt person' jia jia.."o... u all r here..." -.-" if u know wat i toking bout.. den u know y i find it JIAN. if u dun.. nvm.. i still find it JIAN lor..

i cant b borthered to try n snatch e limelight away from her since she loves it... i dun like to b e centre of attraction as much either... all give her man...

mayb some ppl r wondering wat is wrong with me.. but sometimes i feel ppl ard me dun care bout my existence. so.. i decided to leave... u may think tt i think too much... but actually i did not... its juz those reactions i have been receiving tt only i know... not tt u ppl r aware of...

Li.di.ya turned back time on 3:04:00 PM.

Taurus: Study things from a distance instead of trying to strong-arm others.**

woohoo~ yesterday went shopping at bugis with e girls.. got a white pants. it can b folded up to a 3/4 pants.. not bad.. really like it alot.. but since its white, gotta bcareful not to get any stain. kinda ex lor..normal brand only.. $49.90 leh.. 4got e 1 i saw e other time at esprit is ard this price or $70+. ok la.. not bad la... can wear it 2ways. ya la.. jeans ard this price but of coz cheaper better la. some other place de jeans is even cheaper than this hor.. broke liao broke liao.. took neoprints too.. damn nice.. like e 1 with e sofa..haha.. took a 'family photo' with my '2 daughters'..wahaha... nice wor.. gonna go back 4 more...

today came to sch early to do my individual report 4 e CARC project.. really dunno wat to do... most probably i will b going home later... den come back to sch at 5 4 e maths tut. hai...I HATE PROJECTS. fail la fail la... next time no need think of going to U liao...

Li.di.ya turned back time on 10:39:00 AM.

Taurus: People will have their hearts on their sleeves. They are sensitive.**

yesterday met up with Qian Hui at pw walk walk n 4 dinner... ahh.. hao jiu bu jian le wor... den last nite slept damn early.. o ya... read from e papers tt JAY CHOU WILL B HAVING HIS CONCERT IN SG AGAIN IN NOV! ahh!!! i wanna go!!! gotta find some1 sponsor me.. hmm.. my sis or dad? an early present 4 my bday present 4 next yr? haha... still thinking of tt, or should get them to give me ang pow, use it to pay a bit 4 my hp.

"Feelings that were long 4gotten return to haunt the heart that was once loved" <-- got this from an irc # topic.. hehe... yup.. been thinking about alot of things... things tt have happened, wondering if they r any signals 4 me... or i juz think too much. will nv get an ans. they will always remain a mystery.

Li.di.ya turned back time on 10:42:00 AM.

Taurus: You are going through transformation, but others are holding you back.**

wa.. long time no blog liao.. pc kena virus. cant type email n attach file.. zzzz... gotta reformat everything.. n all my doc. will b all gone!!! no!!! so suay.. gotta burn them onto discs liao...

hmm.. alot to type but shall cut them short...

first. working till e end of this month n i gonna look 4 another le.. sick of tt place blah... i havent mentioned tt there was 1 nite i sort of quarrelled with e girl (e lazy ger de fren la.. from tp biz de..) told her wat i m not happy with n she told me wat she n e rest r unhappy about with me... it all started when she asked wats wrong with me n 'tt' girl... so blah blah blah... at 1 pt of time really made me no mood to work.. left like walking away.. go home. ok i admit i m always late 4 work blah.. but when she told me i go to e toilet too long. -.- wat? they time me ah? they go toilet or smoking, how long i also nv say anything.. some more i bring my hp again.. i told her i wanna use e hp also muz 'gui gui sui sui' 1 meh... den i go also not sit dwn there do wat.. read newspaper meh.. juz do wat i needa do den go liao ma... wth.... blah blah blah..
CONCLUSION: tts it! last month of working here. sick of working there le too.. hai.. but think my working attitude is not v gd also..gotta keep changing job. but at least i do wat i gotta do k... not get paid 4 nuting k...

hmm.. wat else happened to me?

last tue went k-box with kelly n branda 4 their lunch package. not bad.. had a crazy time. 1 interesting thing happened. 15 mins b4 time is up, e tv monitor suddenly cock up. after e guy restarted e system a few times.. he changed us to a bigger rm when he failed to get it to work again.. hehehe... we were like.." extend till wat time? waste some much of our time leh.." he was like..." hmm.. aiya.. anytime u wan la. but if we ask u get out u muz go la.." of coz la.. no prob man..haha.. in e end stayed till 2.45 coz i gotta go to work.. hai.. wasted... if not could have stayed longer... yup.. was late 4 work again.. =P

last mon, heard some 'LOSERS' toking bout me rite behind me n i heard it. yup, tts was wat they were trying to do anyway... were saying how badly i was dressed( ok i admit... tshirt, jeans, slippers,a tote bag... a bit aunty la...but go sch not fashion show lor. some more stay so near. once in a while sui bian wear also ok la..) WATEVER! but they have 'zhi ge' to say me meh? even if they try to dress well dun think they can make it too. worse than me. 1 hair so toot(especially from e back view). e other all comb back.. if i dunno him sure think tt he is juz another typical ah beng. but his hair style really reminds me of some thing... a 'yao guai'? or dunno wat word to use... hmm.. there was 1 show 'ren pi deng long' <-- human skin lantern? chi show... ya look like when 1 of e actor when he tranformed to a ' yao guai'.. =X

yesterday went to get my mp3 player from carrefour at $209. creative de.. they having some kind of sale 4 some of their products ma.. so tot should b cheap.. some more CREATIVE de leh..

got 1 tt has 256mb storage space, with fm radio, radio n voice recording.. not bad la.. though is bigger than e slim 1 tt i wanted to buy..( sold out some more) it uses normal AAA batt is kinda gd.. unlike e slim 1... have to charge e batt using e usb port to stick it e cpu. it takes 2 long hrs lor.. u go hol how rite? cant use. it is able to encode e songs directly from cd players or any audio thingy... ok lor.. this 1 extra lor... hmm.. was thinking getting 1 with a bigger storage but more ex... den somany songs 4 wat also.. hmm.. aiya.. this 1 can la.. happy le la.. bleah

now left 4 me to buy e samsung e600 hp. now my fren's de also siao siao le... reception damn poor.. even in an open space also no reception -.- eh.. think i drop too many time le.. =X later going to my sis place to get 1 of her fren's extra hp to use. she damn lucky wor.. found an erricson hp.. with cam some more! when will i have such luck man...

ok.. tts all 4 now.. anything else i will add on e next time.... gotta go back to my fndb lab le.. =P

Li.di.ya turned back time on 1:02:00 PM.

Taurus: Major yearly goals are at the forefront. Don't procrastinate.**

dunno wats wrong with my home pc. couldnt use it to blog since mon. email also cant attach doc. ... cannot type.. blah.. zz.... so now using e pc at e aiport after work.had been really bz with fndb assignments 4 e past few days.. havent started with e 2nd prsp assignment tt is due next fri. will b having quite a few class tests next wk. fndb lab..carc... wa.. damn cham. think of e carc project n e presentation on e following wk jiu sian... dunno wat to do 4 e individual part. fail ah fail. prsp also damn lag.. way behind wat e teacher is teaching now. si java...-.- feel like giving up.. change course..hai..

TUE:
Taurus: Emotions will take precedence over all of your rational thoughts.**

finished sch at 10 de.. but after lunch stayed back to do e fndb assignment. like wth.. actually started last sat but those things 1 did are not needed... so gotta do it all over again..-.- watever.. juz hand in with e others since i printed them out liao. stayed till bout 6 plus. do until wanna pull all my hair out le.. some day really gonna become botak liao... moreover stared at e pc 4 6-whole-hrs! eyes were damn tired.. later my degree go up liao...NNOOO...not bad la. quite gd studying in sch... should do it more often..haha...

WED:

Taurus: Romances have a strict and overbearing tone to them. This will pass.**

after sch went marina south to have steamboat to celebrate kelly's bday with branda andy+ frens.. n of coz kelly la! main zu jue leh... we 3 girls really can eat man..haha.. gd gd.. eat dao bao bao.. some really damn oily man.. eee... gotta detox liao.. after tt walked all e way to marina bay mrt station. e place damn dark n eerie? man.. *glup e moment i reached home its bed time!

FRI:

Taurus: This is the time to sign the contract that you have been wavering on.**

after sch went to eat fish n co with kelly n branda @ tm.. woohoo~ everytime go eat 'hao liao' like alot of $ hor.. haha.. we LOVE to eat! we LIVE to EAT! keke... 'nan de' can find such ppl...after dinner went to c Bourne Supremacy. gd show! v exciting... though Anacondas also exciting la.. but i find it damn wu liao lor.. c e snake chase after e humans n eat them up 1 by 1.. waste my $ only..-.- gotta rent e Bourne Identity vcd... c any1 who has it not.. if not go to 1 of those rental shops...

n ya.. @ tm b4 dinner i heng heng saw e guy with n7200 phone which i tot it was mine. though i already went up to check with him (with e help of branda)b4 my prsp lab coz he heng heng in e same lab rm b4 my class started. how come i would think tt it was mine coz on thurs when i was in 1 of e labs doing my fndb, i heard a familiar ringtone. tt was e song 'duan dian', some more recorded 1. at first i was thinking:" wa.. this person also have taste ah.." den when i looked ard.. i saw him sitting infront of me with n7200 hp.. was thinking this song not v popular also. den some more recored de ringtone.. could it b mine?! but when i went up to him on fri, it was e some sort of "orange-brown" colour de... i was kinda sure tt e colour looked blue to me.. den tot tt mayb he change e cover n everything.. den at TM heng heng let me c him again.. so 'qiao' meh.. was thinking is it really him? 'shang tian' is helping me ah? coz a girl could have actually sold it to him. den at first when we walked past him, i heard 1 of his fren. a girl said" this girl again. was thinking could it b her? really suspicious lor.. so when we saw them going to pizza hut. i took a cab home to get e paper they gave when i bought e hp to tm to check again... coz every hp have a unique no. when u key in some no. .... so when i got hold of e hp.. i checked.. saw e first few no. same as mine.. was thinking OMG! but when i come to e last few digits.. they were different. at first tot wah lau.. i so lucky... can save me from buying a new hp..but hai... too bad.. malu also lor.. but at least keep my mine at rest liao.. no need keep thinking bout it.. o well.. 4get it. get a new 1. hai.. but really gotta thanks to branda n kelly 4 helping me.. coz i damn 'dan xiao gui'.. =X

gonna quit this job liao.. gonna b broke le.. really cant bear to use my $ in my bank on a new hp n mp3.. but no music when u take bus damn boring de leh... si ah... gotta spend my $ wisely liao..

ya.. after i got home quarrelled with my aunt.. really bth... i get alot of freedom which i m really lucky..(i also wun luan luan lai de ma..'wo zi ai' ok..) but sometimes really get irritated by her. screamed at her until i lost my voice. sore throat ...first time man... know she old liao la.. but sometimes really bth lor.. like leave me alone la! remembered tt i used to b v happy when she comes home n would open e door 4 her e moment i hear e sound of her keys from e other side of e door.. (coz always at home alone.. damn lonely).. so happy lor when she comes home.. but now also no difference... even when she's at home i also damn sian.. mood changed damn fast hor.. at first was happy happy de when with branda n kelly... den go home damn bad mood..hai... was damn no mood to stay at home... in tt stupid house... argh!!! sometimes e tot of moving out comes to my mind.

Li.di.ya turned back time on 3:20:00 PM.